I’ve witnessed so many times the importance of a living will. Life just is not guaranteed, and you can never prepare for losing someone you love. Years before my own mom got sick, prior to a routine surgery or procedure, she would let me know where all her important documents were.
As soon as she started these conversations, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck rise and I would quickly shut it down. I couldn’t handle the thought of something happening to her and wanted nothing to do with any conversation that referenced it.
You may feel the same about these sort of conversations with your parent or loved one. We live in an avoidant culture that typically ignores or rejects hard things. We also live in a world that struggles to process emotions that are anything less than light and happy.
Talking about death, especially death of a loved one, is hard. The accompanying emotions are heavy and deeply unsettling.
Sometimes the hardest things are the most important! We are frequently advised to take the path of least resistance, but similar to weightlifting, it is the resistance that makes us stronger. Talking about and planning for the end of life, whenever it comes, is one of those hard-yet-important conversations.
Creating a Living Will
Talking about and creating a living will is hard, no doubt. It forces you to confront a difficult part of reality. What is even harder is trying to guess what your loved one wanted once they are no longer able to communicate. What is even harder yet is trying to navigate end of life arrangements while also navigating your individual emotions around losing a loved one.
Doing hard things now can significantly ease pain points in the future.
Many people do not take the time to create a living will. Why? Many believe they are too young to need one, they do not know enough about how they work, or they simply do not wish to think about end-of-life issues.
Creating a living will is worth it, and yes, everyone needs to have one. It gives you and your loved ones peace of mind with the confidence to know exactly what steps to take if the unimaginable happens.
What is a Living Will?
A living will is a legal document that is used to guide medical professionals as well as your family members on your desired course of treatment should you be rendered unable to communicate your wishes due to illness or an accident.
Why is a Living Will So Important?
A living will is incredibly important because it allows you to exercise your constitutionally protected right to accept or refuse certain types of medical treatment (for example, consider ventilators and organ donation).
Because you must be considered of sound mind and physically able to communicate those wishes during emergencies, creating a living will while you are still able to communicate is essential.
Different states may have laws that affect which treatments can be included in a living will, so it is important to work with a legal professional or other expert to create this important document.
What Happens If I Don’t Have a Living Will?
In the event you become physically or mentally incapacitated, in the absence of a living will, medical providers will turn to your closest relatives to make decisions on your behalf. This could include anything from medication, treatments, surgeries, therapies, and even end-of-life decisions.
As you might imagine, this responsibility can be stressful and burdensome for your loved ones. They will make the best decisions they can but will likely feel unsure of what you would have truly wanted which can bring on feelings of immense guilt along while processing grief.
The absence of a living will also means that your caretakers may not have a way to pay for your medical bills. Medical bills can be expensive, especially those associated with hospital stays, intensive care, and long-term care. You are potentially exposing your loved ones to a crushing financial burden without the creation of a living will.
While it’s hard to think about these types of situations, unexpected events can happen to you no matter your age.
A Living Will Protects You When You Can No Longer Communicate
One of the greatest advantages of having a living will is that it protects your wishes if you end up in a situation where you are unable to communicate.
In the absence of a living will, it may be up to doctors or your family members to decide on your treatment, and they may not make the same choices that you would make for yourself. When you create a living will, it’s a good idea to give a copy to your doctors and a few trusted loved ones to ensure they are all aware of your preferences.
A Living Will Prevents Major Arguments Between Family Members
When a family member is critically ill, making decisions can be a difficult process. Family members may not agree about what treatment path to take, all while dealing with the emotional shock of the family member’s condition.
These circumstances can lead to arguments that may even end relationships. Having a living will can prevent these disagreements entirely because your wishes are clear and no one else has a say in what happens to you.
A Living Will Gives You Control Over Your Medical Treatment and Procedures
A living will gives you control over which medical treatments or procedures will be administered to you if you are too ill to communicate. Many individuals have very specific desires regarding which measures they would be willing to undergo to keep them alive and which ones they feel are too invasive or risky, particularly those who have deeply held religious beliefs.
For example, you may be willing to undergo CPR but would not want to be placed on a ventilator. A living will allows you to specify this type of distinction regarding your treatment options. Some of the medical treatments that may be included in a living will are CPR, shock equipment, antibiotics, palliative care, tissue or organ donation and more.
A Living Will Reduces Potential Unwanted Medical Bills to Your Family
A Living Will Gives You Peace of Mind
Having a living will can give you significant peace of mind. It may be impossible to prevent many types of accidents and illnesses, but living wills give you a certain degree of control over what happens to you in tragic situations. Once you have established one, you will have the reassurance of knowing that your wishes will be carried out while taking a significant burden off your loved ones.
Who Needs a Living Will?
We all likely know someone who has been impacted by a tragic, sudden accident. Because life is uncertain, everyone should consider creating a living will.
Creating a living will when you're healthy allows you to consider all your options carefully and ensure your loved ones aren't left with difficult choices.
People often think writing a living will can wait until sickness or old age. But unexpected injury from an accident or disease can strike any time.
What to Consider Before Creating a Living Will
Before creating a living will, you should consider how you feel about the possibility of a range of medical treatment options. It might also benefit you to consider conversations with those closest to you to decide if any loved ones have the capabilities to be your health care proxy.
It can be difficult to think about a potential end-of-life situation and the type of medical care you'd like to receive during it. Preparing a living will is a significant undertaking, but it's ultimately worth it to reduce the stress and burden of the unknown on yourself and your family.
This is not a complete list of questions but rather a starting point for conversations between you and your doctor or lawyer.
Ask yourself these questions before creating a living will:
- Would I prefer to be subjected to any and every treatment available in the interest of prolonging my life?
- Would I rather prioritize my comfort and convenience?
- Do I prefer to stay at home over being hospitalized?
- Which family members, friends, and loved ones can I trust to act in my best interests?
- How much money do I have to cover medical expenses where insurance falls short?
- Does my state require witnesses, a notary, or both when signing my will?
A living will is a legal document that outlines your preferences for medical care if you become incapacitated. It is different from a last will and testament, which details how you want to distribute your assets.
These circumstances are not enjoyable to consider. Think of your family and friends to serve as your motivation for creating a living will. It’s a gift you can give to them, in the event of tragedy.
I still get a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat when I think about my mom’s passing. I feel her absence on a multitude of levels and miss her so much it hurts. Dealing with her loss has been one of my greatest hardships.
She did have a living will, thankfully. She was fiercely protective of her family while alive, and by creating a living will, she continued to provide that protection. In putting her wishes to paper, her family we didn’t have to worry about trying to figure out what she wanted.
Protect the Ones You Love, and Yourself, By Creating a Living Will
If you have questions about creating a living will, the Medicare program in the United States, or any other concern about your financial wellbeing as it relates to healthcare after age 65, we would love the opportunity to talk with you. Remember, it costs nothing to work with us and as an independent Medicare agent, and we look at every available option for your situation.